The choice

I know I get crabby, annoyed, frustrated, but it is more important for me to always choose joy. To understand what makes you happy and always aim for that. It is not ok to treat others poorly.

You have a choice and must strive for it...always.

Enjoying the simple things

After 2 days and more money than I'd like to admit at theme parks, the boys enjoyed swimming in a free pool twice a day and going to the beach just as much...granted they do love their wands from Hogsmeade. I guess happiness has a small price.

GOALLLL

This past weekend both Jaiden and Jaxon scored their first goal of the season.  I wasn't at Jaiden's match, but Jaxon exhibited unadulterated, two fist pump joy. It is amazing to see them both be successful.  As a parent, it is hard to watch when your children are not successful.  You want to help them in any way you can, but you realize, they need to learn and grow...and I have no doubt all my kids will surpass me in sports very soon.

"Love just is..."

So as daddy will tell you...I read a lot.  Mostly news during the day and fluff at night.  There are certain quotes that stay with me that aren't by famous people, but probably a family member passed down to the author.  One quote I recently read was:
"Love just is.  Respect is earned"

I have really been thinking about my life in this manner.  There is no bound to love.  There shouldn't be.  Do I get upset and yell, yes.  Do I love you any less? Never.  What makes me the most upset was when Jaiden said, "You don't love me."  He has only said it a couple of times, but it made me incensed.  But Jaiden, you were young.  And we have hopefully trained you out of that.  I will never stop loving any of you.  Daddy will never stop loving you.  You will try us, but we are here to love you.  You are my heart walking on this earth for the world to see.

Change...

I don't know if anyone ever thinks about how their life will move and in what direction it will take.  Here's what I thought:

1. I would never have 3 kids...we lived the "Brady Bunch" scenario as 3 sisters and vowed not to have an odd number of same gender children. I wanted an even number. 

2. I would always drive a small car. Now it is a Nissan Armada.

3. I would work forever.  I am staying at home...which is still work. 

4. I wouldn't live past 30.  Which is a manifestation of my lack of regard for my future when I was 18. 

I am realizing now that I am not sure how much I should share on this blog since it is out there for anyone to see...I don't want anyone to think I am being dramatic for the sake of attention.  But at the source...this is what I want my boys to know about me. 

Starting out...

I have always wanted to start a journal to my sons...but as we clean out various drawers and the garage...we found 2 that I started and 4 more that are empty. This is really my love letter to Jaiden, Jaxon, and JT. I am sure over time it will evolve, and I will include different thoughts on various things from all that I love: food, girly stuff, them.

We will see what happens and I may change the feel for it...but I just wanted a record of my thought for them.